This article supplements information provided earlier in the blog ‘Eliminate Clutter and Improve your Writing’. The aim is to improve clarity and comprehension by helping you correct wordiness in your sentences and paragraphs. Concise writing delivers greater impact.
1. Eliminate redundant pairs
When the first word in a pair has roughly the same meaning as the second, choose one. Common examples of redundant pairs include the following: full and complete, each and every, end result, hopes and dreams, whole entire, first and foremost, true and accurate, always and forever, basic and fundamental, worried and concerned, anticipate in advance, joined together.
Example: For each and every toner you purchase, you receive a free ream of paper.
Revision: For every toner you purchase, you receive a free ream of paper.
2. Delete unnecessary qualifiers
Qualifiers are adverbs that show degrees of moderation. We frequently use qualifiers that aren’t actually necessary to express our meaning (such as ‘actually’ in this sentence). They often fail to add meaning, so avoid them. By deleting unnecessary qualifiers (‘filler words’), you can eliminate one or two words per sentence. It may not seem significant, but filler words quickly add up and bloat your prose.
Common qualifiers include the following: actually, like, really, basically, probably, very, definitely, somewhat, kind of, extremely, practically.
3. Use the shortest form of the word or phrase
Why say ‘close proximity’ if you mean ‘near’? Why say ‘conceptualisation’ if you mean ‘concept’? Using a longer form of the word can also be a trap for the unwary; you could be using the wrong word, or you may be using the word incorrectly (i.e. in the wrong context).
Many popular phrases can be replaced with single words. These phrases are commonly used in more formal writing, but they detract from, rather than add to, meaning. For example: ‘The reason for’, ‘due to the fact that’, ‘in light of the fact that’, ‘given the fact that’, and ‘considering the fact that’ can be replaced with ‘because’, ‘since’, or ‘why’.
4. Reduce prepositional phrases
Overuse of prepositional phrases (which begin with words like ‘in’, ’for’, ‘at’, ‘on’, ‘through’, ‘over’, ‘beneath’ and ‘between’ ‒ words that indicate relations between nouns, pronouns, and verbs) can obscure the main subject and action of a sentence. Sometimes prepositional phrases aren’t necessary at all, especially when you use them (instead of an apostrophe + s) to denote possession of an object.
You could eliminate prepositional phrases by using active voice, or by substituting an adverb or a genitive (possessive form) in its place. You could also do so by eliminating nominalisations, or by deleting the prepositional phrase altogether and rephrasing the sentence. For example:
Revise ‘The lawyer responded to the testimony with vehemence’ to ‘The lawyer responded vehemently to the testimony’.
Revise ‘The violin solo was obviously played by a maestro’ to ‘A maestro obviously played the violin solo’.
5. Use the active voice
In an active sentence, the subject (the person or thing doing the action) comes first. In a passive sentence, the order of the words is inverted ‒ the object (the thing that is receiving the action) appears at the start of the sentence, and the subject appears at the end or isn’t included at all. Starting sentences with the subject makes your writing clearer because it’s immediately obvious who or what the sentence is about. This is not to say that every sentence should start with the subject, but it does make for a more powerful sentence.
The passive voice is not a grammatical error, and it can be useful, but writing in the passive voice often leads to using more words than necessary. The passive voice should only be used in situations where there is no causality or agency (the subject isn’t making things happen or making choices).
6. Change negatives to affirmatives
Write affirmative sentences because they are usually clearer than negative sentences and require less words. With negative sentences, your readers have to comprehend the important words in the sentence and negate them. Sentences with more than one negative are even harder to understand.
Example: If you do not have a tertiary qualification in a subject, do not call for an interview for the teaching position.
Revision: Applicants with a tertiary qualification in a subject can call to be interviewed for the teaching position.
You will often have to change certain words when you ‘translate’ a negative sentence.
Example: The politician did not consider the region’s history.
Revision: The politician ignored the region’s history.
7. Replace vague words with specific ones
Vague or abstract words tend to conceal your meaning. On the other hand, specific words convey your meaning exactly, without ambiguity. Simple language is usually clearer; it is more precise and concise than complex language. Identifying ineffective vague description is a matter of deciding whether your writing contains an appropriate level of detail and specificity to convey meaning precisely to your reader.
Example: The clothes we wore were smart, sort of interesting and seemed different to what we see men wearing here.
Revision: He wore a dark tailored suit and a crisp ivory cotton shirt, with a distinctly European flair.
8. Avoid overusing expletives at the beginning of sentences
Expletives are phrases of the form it + be-verb or there + be-verb, i.e. phrases or sentences that begin with ‘There are’, ‘There is’, ‘It is’, or ‘It was’. The verb ‘to be’ is also part of many of these uninspired sentences. Such expressions can be rhetorically effective for emphasis in some situations, but overuse or unnecessary use of expletive phrases creates wordy, boring sentences. In this type of sentence, the word ‘it’ or ‘there’ acts as filler for the real subject of the sentence, and the verb is passive. The result is a sentence that doesn’t engage the reader since the subject and verb have no real meaning.
Example: There are five edicts that should be observed.
Revision: Five edicts should be observed.
9. Keep your sentences to 25-30 words
You should keep sentences short for the same reason you keep paragraphs short: they’re easier to read and understand. It’s almost impossible to keep control of a sentence that’s over about 40 words, and it’s difficult to follow for the reader. When sentences are long, most readers will have to read the sentence at least twice to understand the presented ideas, and they may find it tedious. If you tend to write long sentences, breaking them into two or more will make your thinking clearer and your writing more effective; your readers will appreciate it too.
10. Only explain one idea at a time
A common mistake that authors make is trying to include too much information in their sentences. For clarity, the sentence should only convey one idea at a time. More than that creates complexity and invites confusion. If you try to discuss too many factors together, they are likely to get confused or at least become confusing for the reader. Then you’ll need more (unnecessary) words to explain them.
11. Don’t repeat yourself
Redundancy and repetition tend to go together, and both interrupt the flow of your prose, causing your reader to become distracted and annoyed. Write something once; don’t write the same idea several times, a different way each time. Don’t ramble either; stick to the topic on hand. Nor should you use more words than necessary to express an idea (viz. pleonasm) or excessively describe something.
Pay close attention to what your words signify and what tasks they accomplish. Start thinking about the words you use in terms of the function(s) they perform in the sentence.
Final Thoughts
Concise writing helps you and your readers do more with less and stay focused on the topic. You can communicate your ideas more effectively and keep your readers’ attention longer. Sometimes the easiest way to revise a wordy sentence is to ask yourself “What do I really mean here?” and then write a new sentence; this approach can be more efficient than just tinkering with your existing sentence.
If you need help perfecting your writing, please contact Renell at renellj@proofperfect.co.nz
or M: 029 1230 158.
