This article supplements information provided earlier in the blog ‘Eliminate Clutter and Improve your Writing’. The aim is to improve clarity and comprehension by helping you correct wordiness in your sentences and paragraphs. Concise writing delivers greater impact.

1. Eliminate redundant pairs

When the first word in a pair has roughly the same meaning as the second, choose one. Common examples of redundant pairs include the following: full and complete, each and every, end result, hopes and dreams, whole entire, first and foremost, true and accurate, always and forever, basic and fundamental, worried and concerned, anticipate in advance, joined together.

Example: For each and every toner you purchase, you receive a free ream of paper.

Revision: For every toner you purchase, you receive a free ream of paper. 

2. Delete unnecessary qualifiers

Qualifiers are adverbs that show degrees of moderation. We frequently use qualifiers that aren’t actually necessary to express our meaning (such as ‘actually’ in this sentence). They often fail to add meaning, so avoid them. By deleting unnecessary qualifiers (‘filler words’), you can eliminate one or two words per sentence. It may not seem significant, but filler words quickly add up and bloat your prose.

Common qualifiers include the following: actually, like, really, basically, probably, very, definitely, somewhat, kind of, extremely, practically. 

3. Use the shortest form of the word or phrase

Why say ‘close proximity’ if you mean ‘near’? Why say ‘conceptualisation’ if you mean ‘concept’? Using a longer form of the word can also be a trap for the unwary; you could be using the wrong word, or you may be using the word incorrectly (i.e. in the wrong context).

Many popular phrases can be replaced with single words. These phrases are commonly used in more formal writing, but they detract from, rather than add to, meaning. For example: ‘The reason for’, ‘due to the fact that’, ‘in light of the fact that’, ‘given the fact that’, and ‘considering the fact that’ can be replaced with ‘because’, ‘since’, or ‘why’. 

4. Reduce prepositional phrases

Overuse of prepositional phrases (which begin with words like ‘in’, ’for’, ‘at’, ‘on’, ‘through’, ‘over’, ‘beneath’ and ‘between’ ‒  words that indicate relations between nouns, pronouns, and verbs) can obscure the main subject and action of a sentence. Sometimes prepositional phrases aren’t necessary at all, especially when you use them (instead of an apostrophe + s) to denote possession of an object.

You could eliminate prepositional phrases by using active voice, or by substituting an adverb or a genitive (possessive form) in its place. You could also do so by eliminating nominalisations, or by deleting the prepositional phrase altogether and rephrasing the sentence. For example:

Revise ‘The lawyer responded to the testimony with vehemence’ to ‘The lawyer responded vehemently to the testimony’. 

Revise ‘The violin solo was obviously played by a maestro’ to ‘A maestro obviously played the violin solo’.

5. Use the active voice

In an active sentence, the subject (the person or thing doing the action) comes first. In a passive sentence, the order of the words is inverted ‒ the object (the thing that is receiving the action) appears at the start of the sentence, and the subject appears at the end or isn’t included at all. Starting sentences with the subject makes your writing clearer because it’s immediately obvious who or what the sentence is about. This is not to say that every sentence should start with the subject, but it does make for a more powerful sentence.

The passive voice is not a grammatical error, and it can be useful, but writing in the passive voice often leads to using more words than necessary. The passive voice should only be used in situations where there is no causality or agency (the subject isn’t making things happen or making choices). 

6. Change negatives to affirmatives

Write affirmative sentences because they are usually clearer than negative sentences and require less words. With negative sentences, your readers have to comprehend the important words in the sentence and negate them. Sentences with more than one negative are even harder to understand. 

Example: If you do not have a tertiary qualification in a subject, do not call for an interview for the teaching position.

Revision: Applicants with a tertiary qualification in a subject can call to be interviewed for the teaching position.

You will often have to change certain words when you ‘translate’ a negative sentence.

Example: The politician did not consider the region’s history.

Revision: The politician ignored the region’s history. 

7. Replace vague words with specific ones

Vague or abstract words tend to conceal your meaning. On the other hand, specific words convey your meaning exactly, without ambiguity. Simple language is usually clearer; it is more precise and concise than complex language. Identifying ineffective vague description is a matter of deciding whether your writing contains an appropriate level of detail and specificity to convey meaning precisely to your reader.

Example: The clothes we wore were smart, sort of interesting and seemed different to what we see men wearing here.

Revision: He wore a dark tailored suit and a crisp ivory cotton shirt, with a distinctly European flair. 

8. Avoid overusing expletives at the beginning of sentences

Expletives are phrases of the form it + be-verb or there + be-verb, i.e. phrases or sentences that begin with ‘There are’, ‘There is’, ‘It is’, or ‘It was’. The verb ‘to be’ is also part of many of these uninspired sentences. Such expressions can be rhetorically effective for emphasis in some situations, but overuse or unnecessary use of expletive phrases creates wordy, boring sentences. In this type of sentence, the word ‘it’ or ‘there’ acts as filler for the real subject of the sentence, and the verb is passive. The result is a sentence that doesn’t engage the reader since the subject and verb have no real meaning.

Example: There are five edicts that should be observed.

Revision: Five edicts should be observed. 

9. Keep your sentences to 25-30 words

You should keep sentences short for the same reason you keep paragraphs short: they’re easier to read and understand. It’s almost impossible to keep control of a sentence that’s over about 40 words, and it’s difficult to follow for the reader. When sentences are long, most readers will have to read the sentence at least twice to understand the presented ideas, and they may find it tedious. If you tend to write long sentences, breaking them into two or more will make your thinking clearer and your writing more effective; your readers will appreciate it too.  

10. Only explain one idea at a time

A common mistake that authors make is trying to include too much information in their sentences. For clarity, the sentence should only convey one idea at a time. More than that creates complexity and invites confusion. If you try to discuss too many factors together, they are likely to get confused or at least become confusing for the reader. Then you’ll need more (unnecessary) words to explain them. 

11. Don’t repeat yourself

Redundancy and repetition tend to go together, and both interrupt the flow of your prose, causing your reader to become distracted and annoyed. Write something once; don’t write the same idea several times, a different way each time. Don’t ramble either; stick to the topic on hand. Nor should you use more words than necessary to express an idea (viz. pleonasm) or excessively describe something.

Pay close attention to what your words signify and what tasks they accomplish. Start thinking about the words you use in terms of the function(s) they perform in the sentence. 

Final Thoughts

Concise writing helps you and your readers do more with less and stay focused on the topic. You can communicate your ideas more effectively and keep your readers’ attention longer. Sometimes the easiest way to revise a wordy sentence is to ask yourself “What do I really mean here?” and then write a new sentence; this approach can be more efficient than just tinkering with your existing sentence.

If you need help perfecting your writing, please contact Renell at renellj@proofperfect.co.nz
or M: 029 1230 158.

Clear, strong and concise sentences are the most effective way to conveying messages to your audience, whether your work appears in print or online. Writers often fill sentences with weak or unnecessary words. Words and phrases should be deliberately selected to be fit for purpose, and any that do not enhance the meaning or context of a written piece should be culled or replaced. Retaining only the most effective words will make your writing more concise and readable. Clutter-free writing is clear writing. When editing a written piece for clarity and ‘wordiness’ (i.e., reducing the word count), the material is checked for the use of ‘Clutter’ words or phrases that contribute little or nothing to its meaning. Clutter words are either deleted or the sentences in which they appear are restructured to eliminate them. The aim is to draft more powerful sentences to better engage the reader. Clutter words include Pause or Fillers words and Weak words.

Pause or Filler Words

Pause or Filler words add no meaning to a sentence and merely ‘fill the space’. They are words we use while speaking and often occur when we are trying to think of the next thing we are going to say. While useful when we’re talking, they are not needed in your writing. Pause or Filler words are empty and simply pad the text, preventing your message from getting across clearly and effectively. Examples: so, like, really, you know, just, well. Using words such as ‘really’ and ‘very’, for example, indicate that you require a stronger adjective in your sentence. To avoid these words, research the range of alternatives that would be perfect descriptors. For instance: ‘very angry’ could be replaced with enraged, furious, livid and so forth. The replacement words are more precise, and they add nuance to the meaning of the sentence.

Weak Words

Weak words and can make your writing boring and clumsy and may distract the reader. They have no real meaning and only clog up your sentences. Often, they are inserted into your writing unconsciously because you use these words when you’re talking — but they add no value to your written material. Examples: basically, in fact, in order to, essentially, get. Filler words and Weak words may in some cases have a legitimate place in your writing, and one often see them used in colloquial dialogue, but they become a problem when they are overused to the point of distraction and annoyance. The occasional use is acceptable but when too frequent, the word loses its meaning and signals to the reader that the writer is unskilled and careless about their language.

They Detract from the Quality of your Writing

Filler words and Weak words detract from the quality of one’s writing and the problem arises, as mentioned earlier, because more often than we realise, we write how we speak. They’re easy to eliminate. All you need do is go through your writing and delete or rephrase anything that doesn’t add meaning, or which doesn’t qualify your message.  Here are a few examples:  1. There is a bird perched on top of your fence. (10 words)

There is a bird on your fence. (7 words)

 2. This is actually a very difficult situation. (7 words)

This is a difficult situation. (5 words) OR The situation is difficult. (4 words)

 3. There have been many arguments in the nursing profession about the merits of early discharge after major surgery. (18 words)

The nursing profession has frequently argued about the merits of early discharge after major surgery. (15 words and the sentence has been restructured to deliver a stronger active subject/verb.)

Cutting the Clutter from your Writing

 There are additional measures you can take to cut the clutter from your writing. A few are mentioned here:

• Be modest with the modifiers you use (a modifier is a word, phrase, or clause that functions as an adjective or  adverb to provide additional information about another word or word group. It is is also known as an adjunct.)
• Replace vague nouns and verbs with more powerful and specific words. E.g. It was an experience that really helped me learn a lot. Corrected: It was an educational experience.
• Reduce long, convoluted clauses to shorter phrases.
• Interrogate every word in a sentence. Check every word to make sure that it is providing something important and unique to a sentence.
• Reduce phrases to single words.
• Avoid redundancies (repetitious expressions or words), deleting words or phrases that unnecessarily reinforce what’s already been said. E.g. actual fact, blend together, advance forward.
• Use active rather than passive verbs.
• Cut empty phrases or meaningless descriptions.
• Avoid using noun forms of verbs (a.k.a. nominalisations.)
• Avoid the use of complicated ‘noun strings’ or ‘noun clusters’ ‒ several nouns or adjectives all in a row. E.g. draft native flora protection regulations.
• Combine sentences. Some information does not require a full sentence and can easily be inserted into another sentence without losing any of its value.

 Examples of Clutter Words and Phrases

To help you strengthen your writing skills, below is a list of common fillers and other unnecessary words and phrases which can either be rephrased or deleted. 

 Final Thoughts

The goal of clear, concise writing is to use the most effective words. Concise writing does not always have the fewest words, but it always uses the strongest ones. Avoid fillers and other unnecessary words and phrases which can boost your word count, create clumsy sentences and make your written work appear amateurish. As a rule, more specific, well-selected words lead to more concise and powerful writing.

Contact me if you require a review of your writing. Avoid embarrassing and costly errors with Proof Perfect NZ. Email renellj@proofperfect.co.nz or call 029 1230 158.